Thursday, August 30, 2012

IMPORTANT! Please read!

It's amazing how difficult this post has been to write. I've put it off as long as I can though, and promised myself it will get posted this time. So, here goes.

*Takes a deep breath*

I've been blogging now for over six years. Sometimes it feels like it can't be that long, and other times it feels like I've been blogging forever. Whatever the case though, I know it's been a little over six years, and I know I've made a lot of friends through my blog. Some of these friends I stopped having contact with by my own choice, others sort of drifted away never to be heard from again, others I only now speak to because they're on Facebook, and others will read this post. The point is, I've made a lot of friends - many of them great friends I don't want to lose - and shared a lot on this blog; good times and bad.

Six years ago, when I first started blogging, I had no idea what I'd post about, and I didn't blog much even though I only had a couple of blogs to follow. Then I lost my eyesight and became bored and depressed. I clung to my blog like a lifeline; I needed the routine of posting every day unless I had a very good reason not to, and I needed the knowledge that somewhere out there someone cared enough about me to take the time to check my blog. I became obsessed with posting every single day. I told people I had no idea why, but I said that because I didn't want to admit the truth. You see, the truth was I was scared that if I didn't give my readers something to read each day they'd think I was one of those people who had dissappeared from the blogs, then they'd stop coming to visit, and I needed them to visit. But then I came out the other side and found myself feeling like it was all too much. So I started disappearing for a few days leaving posts up for my readers. Except then I felt guilty for not being around to read their blogs. It got to the point where blogging felt like a chore, and I haven't enjoyed blogging for some time.

I don't want to do this any more. And by this I mean blogging.

I want to do what I have been over the past couple of weeks; go to events nearby (like the charity coffee morning we went to near the start of August), take walks with Kero, jump on the train with Kelly and Kero to go in to Hastings, sit at a cafe outside the train station and have a drink, go down by the sea and just sit there listening to the waves and seagulls, have my brother visit and play scrabble and BattleTech with him without worrying about whether the post I scheduled went up OK, and so on. I want to be able to just drop people a quick note to tell them the things I think worth mentioning without feeling guilty because there's been nothing from me in days. But I don't feel I can do that with a blog. I know plenty of people do, but I don't feel I can. With those feelings combined with the fact blogger's new "improvements" have made it extremely difficult for me to do a blog post, I've had enough.

I've almost deleted my blog so many ttimes since the start of this year it's not even funny. What stopped me was that I don't want to lose touch with the friends I've made on here. So I took some time off from the blogs to think things over.

I've decided I will be stopping blogging. I'm sorry, but I feel it's the right choice for me.

My blog will remain up for a few weeks to give everyone time to see this message, but after that I will be deleting it for good.

For anyone who wants to keep in touch with me, here are the places you can find me, and ways to get in touch with me once I delete this blog:

My website:

My Smashwords author page:

My Goodreads author profile:

My Facebook profile:

My e-mail: toriz at talk talk dot net (obviously without spaces, and with the "at" and "dot" changed for the appropriate spaces).

NOTE: If you usually use a nickname on the blogs and haven't let people know your real name in the past, please make sure you let me know it's you when contacting me. For an e-mail you can do this by putting your nickname in the subject line, and for Facebook you can do this by sending me a quick message when adding me as a friend. I think Goodreads has a box you can use when adding someone as a friend.

Yes, that's right, I'm keeping Facebook. The reason for that is, quite simply, that it's how I keep in touch with most of my family and some family friends. Plus the fact that it's gotten to the point that Facebook is easier to use (especially now that I've figured out how to sync my mobile phone with my Facebook account, so I can update my status and reply to comments people leave on it without even needing to connect to the internet).

Anyway, that's how things stand... I'm deleting my blog, so if you want to keep in touch you need to grab my e-mail address or add me on either Goodreads or Facebook.

To keep up with book news, keep an eye on my website, my Smashwords author page, and/or my Goodreads profile. I will also be posting any news about my books on my Facebook wall, and will e-mail anyone who wants to be e-mailed when new books are published.


Anonymous said...

although we have only been friends for such a short time I treasure your friendship, we are facebook friends and I will still see you there, I'm not on facebook much, I once was, but I have found the responsibilities with blogging taking most of my time on computer, I have vision loss as well, not as severe as yours, I still have partial sight in my left eye, but I must limit my time on the net, its draining, I think I know how you feel, I've come close to doing this many times, you must do whats right for you, please be happy,

Parsley said...

You'll be missed. I've enjoyed getting to know you. Even if you close this blog you can still visit your blog friends and comment if you ever want. HUGS

That corgi :) said...

Totally agree with your thoughts expressed here, Tori. I'm on blog break and really I'm struggling with wanting to come back myself. My only suggestion with your blog if you have things here you want to save for yourself to refer to later, don't delete it. Make it private. That way you can have access to it if you want and you don't have to worry about maintaining it in any way. I've deleted quite a few blogs in my time, LOL, only to realize "geesh, I wish I had saved it for this or that". So just a thought!

Enjoy life; seems like you have the past few weeks!!!

take care of yourself and the best to you and your husband and Kero!


Deanna said...

I'm sorry to see you go but we can continue to keep up on Facebook and Goodreads. I hope you'll take That Corgi's advice about just making your blog private instead of deleting it. You never know; you might change your mind at some point. In any case, enjoy your walks with Kero and sitting by the sea.

Deanna said...

Tori, I am incredibly glad we are friends. You know how much I believe in you and all that you do. Your perspective on life and what is important is right on. I will miss your blog, but will be smiling knowing that you are doing things that make you happy. I am watching you on facebook (I don't post there very often, just do a lot of like clicks), so please don't disappear from there. I like knowing how and what you are doing. I will always consider you a wonderful friend. Hugest of huge hugs.


Rita said...

We'll keep in touch! I understand and respect your choice. I kind of did the opposite and quit facebook, twitter, flickr...everything else but blogging, and it still is overwhelming a lot of the time. Have fun! Enjoy yourselves!! Give Kero a good neck scratchin' from me. :):)

Wicked Faerie Queen said...

Tori I will miss reading your blog. I don't always comment but I do keep up with you.

I can understand how you feel, blogging can be all consuming if you let it. I have trained myself to just do it a little bit everyday and I usually do my catching up before I go to bed so I am doing my outside activities through the day.

I will keep up with you on facebook though and I do hope every once in a while you stop by my blog for a visit.

Have a lovely day,

Serena Lewis said...

Tori, I totally understand how blogging can encroach on our personal lives so I respect your decision. You will be missed in Blogland I feel kinda bad that I didn't always get the chance to visit or leave a comment but I'm glad we're Friends on Facebook.

Love and hugs,
Serena x

Connie Mitan said...

Sorry to see you go, but I understand following what you feel needs to be done. I don't blame you one bit.

Glad we got connected on Facebook, though, so we can still keep in touch. And just because you aren't blogging daily doesn't mean you can't visit some of your favorite blogs. It was always nice to get comments from you on my blogs.

But yes, the real world truly is more important. Go forth and enjoy!

ChicagoLady said...

Tori, you are making a brave and courageous decision, that none of us should question. I for one have only sporadically blogged for the last couple years. Not being a natural writer (and not leading a very interesting life) makes it difficult to find topics to share.

I will keep an eye out for updates from you on Facebook. Blogs served a very good purpose over the last few years, but with the arrival of Twitter, FB, etc, everyone's focus is now on shorter updates.

Enjoy all your free time with Kelly and Kero and your new town.

Toriz said...

Thanks for being so understanding all! *Hugs*

Magaly Guerrero said...

You know me and my philosophy, if something doesn't make me happy I don't do it (unless is work to pay the bills, which must be done anyway *sigh*). If blogging became a chore instead of a fun want to share with others, run for the hills my friend. Enjoy the breeze, the smell of the leaves and everything else.

P. S. The good things about this is that we'll still be here if you choose to come back, and we'll adore you just the same ;-)

Sarita Rucker said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving, but if blogging makes you unhappy, then it's the right decision. I think we're friends on Goodreads, I'll double check that. :)

AliceKay said...

I'm heading that way myself, Tori. There are too many things going on in my life right now and blogging takes time I don't have. Blogger issues lately have been frustrating for me. It's so much easier keeping in touch with my friends thru Facebook, so that's what I've been doing. I don't post lots of personal stuff on there like I do on Blogger, but there still is that contact with my friends.

You know me...I will stay in touch with you one way or the other. :) Good luck and enjoy the real world with your family. You deserve it. *hugs*

P.S. I think that corgi has a good idea about keeping the blog open but making it private for your eyes only. just never know when you might want to find something from one of your posts.

Toriz said...

Thanks all! *Hugs*

Yes, we're friends on Goodreads.

Toriz said...

I did consider the idea ofjust making the blog private to keep it in case I want to find something, but I decided against it. Besides, there's an export feature in the settings which allows me to export my posts and comments and save the file. So I could easily access it again, or even - if I was to decide to return to blogging in the future - create a new blog and import all my old posts and comments in to it.

Intense Guy said...

That export function is a bit tricky (and slow!) when it comes to photo-laden blogs... Just a heads up.

I will be sad to see you stop blogging but Life is Change. It can't be stopped.

I hope to keep you as a forever friend. Hugs.

Rhissanna said...

I found you through the Mad Tea Party, so I haven't known you long, but I applaud your decision and I'm glad you're not severing ties with the Internet completely. Yes, go do things. Blogging can become an obsession, and any obsession is bad for us. Getting outside, and seeing real living people is always better.

Susan said...

Dearest Tori,

You KNOW I consider you a friend. However, I agree with Magaly, when things are a bother then, you have to give them up, or at least change how you do things. I will miss you in the blogging world. I am SOOO very glad we met! :)

I TOTALLY understand about depression and the internet being a life line. Unfortunately for me, it will remain one, as my family are all idiots and constantly fighting, and My last friend IRL did a MAJOR betrayal against me, and I have tried reaching out to her, and give her the opportunity to apologize to me on numerous occasion. She wants me to apologize to HER. HA! Recently she has reached out to my daughter on FB, obviously my daughter told her to leave her alone. SOOOOO My online friends are my friends!
Please stay in touch on FB, as you know sometimes you and I have email dysfunction! LOL
Love you. Much light and many blessings upon you, Kelly and your animals! I hope to hear news of your family expanding soon!


Anonymous said...

I absolutely, completely get what you mean. I had a LiveJournal for years -- probably from 18 on -- and recently deleted it because, like you, it was becoming a chore and got a little too drama-licious for my liking. So I saved it all and deleted it.

It was hard... it really was. I sometimes wish that I had a private blog to go to, to just write about anything. But a lot of the time, I'm really glad I did it, as it freed up a lot of time and energy. I hope that you'll find the same. :)

And of course, we'll have your books! And Facebook! And everything else to just keep up with you!!

I'm really glad you have so many things you want to keep track of, and that most of it is off the internet. I hope you find it fulfilling and that it gives you so much joy, joy that you very much deserve. :)

Much love and many hugs, sweetheart!! <3

Toriz said...

Thanks all!

Toriz said...

Oh, and for anyone wanting to know why my plan to make the blog private and further posts were published before comments on this post had stopped and yet you never saw them, it's because I had them in draft for a while trying to decide which to publish. So don't worry about over-lapping dates.