Back in October we took in Cara from my Mam.
We weren't entirely convinced it was a good idea what with having Kero and the degus, but my Mam couldn't keep her and I did miss having a cat. So Cara came to live with us.
We had a few behaviour issues with her, but managed to sort most of them out - eventually.
Unfortunately, what we couldn't sort out was the fact that no matter what we did to try and stop her she would not stay out from under my feet. The result being that I was constantly stepping on her and falling over her. I was also constantly shutting her in doors, since she'd come out of nowhere just as I was shutting a door.
We put a collar on her with a bell on it, but she moved so fast I couldn't track her properly with the bell, so most of the time I had no idea where she was until I fell over her, or heard her cry out in pain as I stepped on her or shut her in a door or something.
To cut a long story short, we decided it would be best - for both my safety and hers - if we rehomed her.
We couldn't find anyone who wanted her though. Well, we could, but the people who wanted her weren't in the same country as us, and although cats can be given special pet passports these days nobody actually had the money for it. So we did the only thing we could think of... We called a shelter.
She was dropped off at the Blue Cross yesterday (Thursday) around lunchtime.
She gets a vet check with them today (Friday) and a seven day behaviour evaluation, and as long as she checks out OK with everything she'll go up for adoption at the end of next week. I see no reason why she shouldn't, since we haven't seen any signs of any health issues, and she's now no more mischeivious than your average kitten.
She's young (just coming up for five months) and very friendly, cute and pretty, so she should find a place really quickly once she's available for adoption.
I feel so guilty and cruel.
I did what I thought was best for her, but that doesn't stop me feeling bad about it.
I feel like I let her down; like she trusted me and I betrayed that trust.
Kelly keeps telling me it was for the best, and I know it was really - I wouldn't have let her go if I didn't think it was best for her - but that doesn't stop me feeling really guilty about it, and it doesn't take away the feeling that I let her down.
Every time I think of her sitting there waiting for a home it's like someone's twisting a knife in my heart, and I feel like I did something really cruel.
I'm sorry, Cara!