Um.. Hi everyone. This is Mollie the chinchilla.
OK, so while I was taking my turn on this thing you humans call a computer, trying to decide what to write about this week, I spotted this post the Mummy human had seen earlier this week that lists the job description for a writer's pet.
Let me start by telling you one very important thing: I never signed up for any of that.
I asked my chinchilla sister, Maizie, and my degu brother, Joshua, and they don't remember signing any contract to do any of that stuff either. Although, Joshua did say that he's in a couple of the Mummy human's stories and poems, and apparently it doesn't take up much of his time; Joshua says you mostly don't need to worry about it, but if they come and talk to you about how you're in a story or poem, you just have to give some sign that you know the human caretakers are talking to you about something, and then you can just get on with whatever you were doing before they interrupted you. So that's not so bad.
I don't like the sound of some of the things it mentions though.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we won't do any of the stuff on that list. Besides, the pay is excellent, and there are some other benifits to the job too, like potential fame, and the extra attention that goes along with that, for example... Like the post says. But there are certain things mentioned there that we want it known we will not do, no matter what.
Look, I'm all for providing an ear or some cuddles when the human caretakers need it. But having to pay attention while listening to a whole manuscript being read to me is something I just don't think I can manage. Not to mention, I'm sure I'd end up missing at least one episode of NCIS if I did that, and I'd much rather watch NCIS than discuss plot points, character flaws, etc, with the Mummy human. Also, I refuse to pose for photos on demand. Like it or not, that's the way it is. I'm not a dog, you know!