Monday, September 24, 2007

Accepting the inevitable

It has taken me quite a few attempts to write this blog post, because it's not the easiest one I've ever written. For one thing, I have had to have help to get in to post it (the reason for this will become clear very soon) and, for another thing, it's not easy for me to sit here and write about what has happened recently.

I've known since I was a child that one day this would happen. I was born with Glaucoma (think I spelled that right) which is the second most common cause of blindness in this country, so I've always been warned that the day would come when my world would chance and so would my eyesight. I've beaten their odds. They said it would happen before I reached my sixteenth birthday, and in just under two months I will be twenty three, sso, I've lasted longer than the experts predicted. Still, that's only a small comfort.

It started a couple of months ago, but we put it down to the fact it was so humid, hot and sunny. But, when the weather got damper and colder, things didn't improve. So, we thought maybe I was tired. So, I slept a lot, hoping that would ease it. But it didn't.

Then, on Monday, I had one heck of a headache, and since then I haven't been able to clear my eye enough to see clearly. By Thursday I was in a LOT of pain, and finding it harder to see things. Thursday night the pain peaked, and since then I have had to admit that the inevitable is happening. Especially after our visit to an eye specialist on Friday who confirmed our suspicions.

Now I can't read any of your blogs, and have to have help to post on my own blog. There's a speech program that we can buy to allow me to be back on the blogs again. But it's quite expensive, so until we can afford it, we can't get it. I don't know how long it will take, but until I have it any blog posts from me will be rare (if there are any).

Kelly's going to help me put the photos that are on my camera in to my photo albums, but we aren't sure when we'll have the time. We hope it will be today, but can't promise. Keep an eye out for them though. They should be up by the end of the week.

Anyway, I'm going to let Kelly publish this for me so I can get on with the other stuff I need to do today. Hope to be back on the blogs soon, but in the meantime, hope you all stay happy and healthy.

Tori

18 comments:

AliceKay said...

So sorry to hear this, Tori. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

Debby said...

I can't imagine how you must feel. How much does the new program cost? Hugs and love being sent your way.

Karen said...

Hi am writing on behalf of Tori, I am her mam.
We are a little unsure on how much the programme cost but have been told that it is in the region of £300 to £400 (british pounds), which is around $700 US or a little under $1,000 in Canadian money.

Tori is doing well and I will try and keep you posted. Please check my blog as it's more likely that there will be updates on there.
Love and best wishes Karen x

Intense Guy said...

I am saddened to hear read about your pain. I hope that someday soon they find a cure and bring some daylight back for you.

If you have Windows XP on your computer - there is a speech program built in - under "Programs - Accessories - Accessibility - Narrator", I do not know how good it is, but it may help.

You may need to use the Windows XP CD/setup program to add this to your computer if its not there already.

I know there are other free / less expensive programs "out there" but know not how well they work. I am nearly deaf, so I can't judge how well they work. The thought of losing my sight frightens me to no end.

*Hugs*

Robyn said...

Awww no! Can't you get glasses or are you going to be blind forever? (Sorry to ask, just had to know!)

theteacher said...

We're all here for you Tored. And Carl and me will do all we can to help. x

LadyStyx said...

*HUGS*. Thank you Karen, I'll bookmark your blog so I can get the updates.

Im sorry to hear of your pain and problems Tori. My prayers are with you and your family.

Jayde_Bramblerose said...

to my wonderfull grandaughter tori, who is being so very brave, love you always sweatheart and i am with you with all my heart like the rest of us are.

gramdma xxx

KAYLEE said...

SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT :(

Debby said...

Good morning Tori. Hugs and I'm thinking of you. Did you try the window program Iggy was talking about? I didn't even know it existed, so I tried it out. Perhaps you could have Kelly check it out for you. Hugs and love

Kati said...

Oh Tori..... I'm so sorry to hear this. Is there any way to slow the damange down???? I know Glacoma is cure-less at this point, but can't they do anything to keep it from becoming so total so quickly????? You are in my thoughts & prayers and I hope that money is found to enable you to joins us here again soon. (((((HUGS)))))

Karen, thanks for the update. I too will be bookmarking your blog.

Karen said...

Iggy and debbie: the windows programme and other cheaper ones do not run enough detail for blind people which is why we need the other one.

Robyn: no glasses will not help

thankyou everyone for your comments. Tori sends her love xxx

ChicagoLady said...

Tori,

I'm sorry for the loss of your eyesight so quickly. I know how much you love working on your blog, and posting updates for everyone on your activities. I know someone who is blind and not only was he an active chatter and streamer for years, but he also makes computers for a home business. He uses a reader program, so I know they are out there. As to what is available to you in Wales, and how expensive they are, I do not know.

I wish you all the best, and hope you are able to afford one soon so you can get back to something that you enjoy.

Intense Guy said...

Very well said, ChicagoLady...

The pictures and poems and writings in this blog are definately a work of passion...

Hope you are making the best of things Tori. Lots of people thinking about you - and hoping for the best for you.

Katie said...

I wish that there was something I could do or say that would help. You sound like such a strong person and I'm so glad that you have people who love you around you right now. I hope that things will get better, I hope that something might change. Don't give up hope and just remember that when a door closes a window opens. this isn't the end.

Debby said...

Just droppin by to give Tori a big hug.

Intense Guy said...

How are you doing Tori? Hope you are managing.

AliceKay said...

I've been thinking about you today so thought I'd send a hug your way!