Saturday, April 23, 2011

Crumbly world

I wonder why it is that I have the exact same hilusination every time I'm ill?

Everything seems to crumble around me - faster if I touch it - the air is stale, and a shadowy shape is gliding towards me. I can't back away though, because there's nowhere to back away to; the world is crumbling away. Then, suddenly, everything is all normal; the air is back to normal, breathable air. And the shadowy shape is gone.

Even now I can't see, I still "see" the same thing.

I don't know if it's meant to mean something, or if it's just a coincidence I have the same hilusination each time (usually at the peak of my illness). Maybe I'm just weird?

*Shrugs*

Anyway, I'm feeling much better today. I'm still coughing a good deal, but not as much as I was. My throat's still a bit sore, but I've managed to eat a few things that weren't mushy food today; and without it hurting too much. Also, I finally got a decent chunk of sleep. Shame it was all afternoon and in to the evening - which means I'm going to be up for the night, and will now need to try and put my sleeping pattern back to rights again - but with how I've been sleeping (or, more to the point, not sleeping) since I became ill, I'm very much leaning towards the, "I don't care, because I slept, and that's what really matters" frame of mind. Besides, it's not like I'm a stranger to strange sleeping routines, since I haven't had a consistent "normal" sleeping pattern since... Well, it's almost four years ago now.

5 comments:

Intense Guy said...

I suspect a repeated hallucination is something in your brain trying to tell you something.

I'm glad you are feeling better - its been a while now.

I slept much of today too - I'm not sure why.

Rita said...

Could even be a past life memory, who knows? Or just one of those emotional fears we all have that comes to the surface when you are really sick and feeling vulnerable. I most likely does mean something to you. Maybe it's just the fearful feeling you get while you're "seeing" all of it happen that means something to you? Sometimes in dreams or visions it is not the actual vision but how it made you feel, you know? We are emotional beings with big hearts. :)

My days and nights are flipped right now, too. But I am glad to sleep when I am able to, no matter what time of day that is, so I know exactly what you mean. You'll work your way back to days again, never fear. :)

I'm glad the sore throat and cough are starting to subside. A lot of people seem to have some version of this flu/cough/cold thing that is going around--and lingering too long, right? You should only go on walkies with Kero if it is a nice warm day, lady. We don't want you to get worse instead of better. Kero will understand. ;)

Spoil yourself. Rest. Take it easy. :):)

Queenie Jeannie said...

Bless your heart!! I totally understand sleep issues and you have my sympathy! Not sleeping is the worst! I hope you are feeling better in record time - hugs!

Happy Easter - Buon Pasqua!

AliceKay said...

I hope you're up and at 'em very soon. You've had this crap for too long.

Happy Easter! *hugs*

Toriz said...

Iggy:
Yeah, it's been a while now. And, that's what I think too (about the repeated hilusination).

Rita:
*Nods* Yeah, sometimes it's more emotional than anything.

Yes, I know I'll make it back to days again; for a while at least!

I'm glad the sore throat is healing too... I swear I've spent most of this year ill so far!

Jeannie:
Thanks for stopping by; and for leaving a comment! :)

Also, thanks for the hugs, etc.

AK:
I agree; far too long!