Friday, May 16, 2008

An eye, a scan and a dinner

I'd planned on getting this done and out the way before going to bed, but I was so tired when I came home that I ended up going to bed without even thinking about turning the laptop on (just a shame I was up again within a couple of hours). Anyway...

As most of you will know from a post I did about a week ago, yesterday (Thursday) was my eye check-up. As you will also know from recent posts, my eye has been hurting me so much recently that I'm even admiting it on my blog. It's always given me pain from time to time, and since September has been almost constantly bugging me. Recently, however, it's gotten worse. I'd been told what my options for dealing with the pain were, and with the recent increase in pain and loss of the one visual capability that was still remaining to me (colour recognition... though it was limited to certain colours and I needed strong contrasts in the colours in order to diferentiate) I decided it was time to opt for the one thing that would guarantee pain relief. I've been using so many different drops that I'm certain if I put them in the socket where I have an artificial eye it would float away, and at first they helped with the pain relief (well, they got it down so it was bearable) but recently even they don't touch the pain. And when - just to be able to look in my eye - the doctor had to use a whole thing of those drops that are meant to numb the eye (and even then it still hurt a bit) I knew I was making the right decision. This opinion was confirmed later by a colegue of my eye consultant. But I'm getting ahead of myself with that bit. So, let me back-track a bit and tell you what the decision is...

I've decided to let them remove my remaining eye. In fact, to tell you the truth, it wasn't so much letting them do it as begging them to do it.

I'm sick of not being able to go outside because the light (even on a dull day) increases the pain too much for me to cope. I'm sick of waking in the night in so much pain I wake Kelly with crying. I'm sick of not being able to go out for too long if it can be avoided because of needing to get back for some drops (they need to be kept cold, so wouldn't work if I took them with me). But most of all I'm sick of being in pain.

My consultant had a colegue (it turned out it was the same person who had told me that if the drops didn't keep the pain at bay I may need to consider having the eye removed) come and look at the eye too. He's a Cornial Specialist (or something like that) so if he said there was nothing he could do to save the eye then that was that. So, he came in the room, looked at my eye, asked me if the drops had stopped helping (he remembered seeing me a few months back and giving me the recent additions to the drop collection) and when I told him they weren't he just said, "I see," then got up off the chair - telling my doctor that there was nothing he could do and if I had decided I'd had enough and wanted it out then it should come out - and he walked out of the room.

They did do this sort of light test thing where they turned off the main light and the doctor had some kind of portable light (I assume a strong torch) and I was meant to say which direction the light was coming from. It didn't work too well though, because the pain was too much (yes, even after all those drops) for me to concentrate on even keeping my eye open long enough to pin-point the direction of the light.

So... Now we're just waiting for an appointment with the doctor who's to do the op. He's the one who will be able to tell us how quickly he can get it done. They're hoping to get it done as quickly as possible and at least have the eye out in time for Carl and Rachel's wedding at the start of August (we're hoping I'll also have at least a temporary artificial eye by that time too, but we can't guarantee that because it depends how quickly they can get me in to whether we have time to do that). If they can't get it done before the wedding then they'll definately get it done within a couple of weeks of us coming back from the wedding. Personally I hope they get it done before the wedding so I can be pain-free and enjoy myself.

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Yesterday was also my scan. They were checking for any problems that may have cropped up in the last couple of years - like polycystic ovaries (not sure if I spelled that right) - they never said anything about seeing any problems when we asked them, so we're hoping that's a good thing. However, we wont know exactly what the results from the scan are until May 29th when I go see the Gynaecologist to find out the results. We're hoping the lack of mention of cysts is a good sign that there's no problem in there.

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As I mentioned a couple of days ago, yesterday was my parents' wedding anniversary. What a way for them to spend their anniversary, eh? Anyway... We all went out to dinner (Kelly and I paid for their meals as an anniversary gift to them) and Wayne had Kero for us (as usual). We went to the Chinese place we all like that's now really close to us. It's called "The Royal Kitchen" and it's our favourite place to go eat out (well, mine anyway).

We had a lovely meal. Mam and I were having trouble deciding what we wanted so, since we both wanted the same things, we ordered both and shared them between us (the stuff comes in serving dishes so you can do that there). I can't spell half (OK, most) of the names of the things we had, and I'm not going to try, but we enjoyed them! Mam, Dad and Kelly all had a desert, but I didn't want one. All the deserts contain ice-cream and I really didn't want anything involving ice-cream. Besides, I was kinda full anyway. Although, I think if I hadn't been so tired I'd probably have had some just for the hell of it. LOL!

I hadn't gotten to bed until gone 2:00 am, and was up again by about 6:00 am (well, it was 6:00 am when I checked the time anyway, and I'd been laying awake for a bit at that point). I knew there was no chance of going back to sleep (I needed to be up at 8:30 am so would have been "clock-watching") so I just got up. Needless to say, by the time we got home at about 8:45 pm I was just about ready to just curl up on the nearest flat surface and go to sleep. You'd have thought with being that tired I'd have slept more than three hours, right? Wrong! Got in to bed a little after 9:00 pm and was awake again around midnight. About 1:00 am I decided to get up and sort this post since it would be a much more productive use of my time than tossing and turning trying to get back to sleep when I knew I was much to wide awake to even contemplate the idea.

Right... I think that covers everything for today. Oh! Wait! I didn't say "Happy Anniversary" to my Mam and Dad. I can't end the post without saying that! So... "Happy Anniversary for yesterday Mam and Dad!" :)

AND... "Happy Birthday" to Rachel (my soon-to-be sister-in-law) for today (Friday), :)

Tori

6 comments:

Intense Guy said...

*Hugs*

LadyStyx said...

*HUGZ*

Happy Anniversary to mom n dad!
Happy Birthday to the SIL2B Rachel!

AliceKay said...

That must have been a hard decision to make for you and for the doctors. Good luck with the surgery and good luck with the healing process when it's time. *hugs*

Tori_z said...

Thanks all.

AK:
The decision was all mine. If all the eye can do is cause me pain, and there's no way to make it do anything else, what's the point of keeping it? If it still worked, it would be worth the pain. But, it doesn't. So, it's not worth it. Why should I let myself suffer when I don't need to?

Karen said...

All the love i can think of goes to you my lovely brave girl

love mam xxx

Tori_z said...

Thanks Mam, :)