After the comments on, and reactions to, my original post, I was going to continue
my diary of the pandemic. But I just can't do it. There's so much out there about the virus, how the death rate is climbing every day, with the UK reaching - and passing - 5,000 dead on April 5th, 10,000 on April 11th, and then 15,000 on April 18th, with the current death toll for the UK standing at 17,337 people, out of 129,044 confirmed cases in the UK, at the time of scheduling this post on the morning of April 22nd 2020 (which means I'm going by numbers for April 21st 2020) that I just don't want to add to it more than I need to. I will say though that 457 of those positive cases, and 55 of those deaths, are in my county.
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So, in the interests of self care, and preservation of what sanity remains to me, I have decided not to continue the detailed diary, despite its potential usefulness to future historians, or interest factor for others out there right now. With that in mind, this is just a check-in post, to let you know we're doing OK, and give you a rough idea of how things are going for me, with a short summery of how things stand, rather than a detailed day by day report.
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For those who don't know and are wondering: yes. The UK is still on lockdown. It was officially extended for a further three weeks, but the government also say they'll only be lifting it, "When it's safe to do so," and admitting they're not sure when that will actually be, and we should prepare for it not being any time soon. So, with the continuing rising numbers of the dead, I'm guessing it will be extended again after the three weeks is up. Maybe if people would actually all obey it, we could get things under control, but people continue to think they're on holiday and can have parties, picnics on the beach, etc, so... Yeah. Things are still far from being under control here, and lockdown isn't going away any time soon. Not that I'm surprised, since I didn't think we'd be out of it after the three weeks anyhow. Just like I don't believe the predictions that everything will be back to normal within about six months. Personally, I think we'll be creating a new "normal" when the virus is under control - intentionally or not - and it will take far longer than six months to establish exactly what our new normal is going to be. Hopefully the changes will be positive ones.
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Luckily for me, I don't mind being at home anyhow. In fact, I prefer it as a general rule. I do worry they'll take drastic measures and make masks essential though, which would be a big problem for me, since masks cause me so much anxiety I'm more comfortable with tubes up my nose for oxygen when it's needed in hospital. I can't help it. I just hate things over my face. So, if they do make that a law or something, it will be even more of a lucky thing I don't go out much, and quite an ordeal for me to go out at all.
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I know a few people online who have had personal experience with the virus, including someone who has lost someone to it. But most of the people I know have either so far escaped getting the virus at all, or just had a mild case of it (or a really nasty flu-like thing that may or may not have been a mild case of it). The only death from those I know in person is the husband of a long time friend of my Nan (Dad's Mother). Though Nan's friend Molly's husband Roy had cancer, which they thought they'd gotten rid of, but had come back, and the doctors are reasonably certain it was that rather than the virus itself that actually killed him. They think he would have recovered from the virus if it wasn't for the cancer, despite his advanced age. But I mention him, because he's the only confirmed case of the virus I know personally who has died. Plus, Roy was a nice guy, so his death deserves a mention anyhow, even if I hadn't seen much of him since I was little, or seen him at all for several years.
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Like I said though, Kelly and I are doing OK, and the only health issues we've had to deal with are existing ones, or frequently occuring issues. Like the cough I seem to never get rid of any more that I'd had for some time before all this coronavirus business, and the kidney infection I got earlier this month. I'm crossing my fingers it stays that way.
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We won't talk about
the truth about introverts, and why this quarantine is hard on us too, my fight to keep my anxiety under control, and how bad my sleep has been even for me.
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Anyhow, other than dog walks, I'm not going out at all, and Kelly is going out as little as possible. Both of us are used to not going out an awful lot, which helps. I mean, we have plenty to keep us busy at home between things we can watch on Sky, Amazon Prime, Netflix, and Disny+ (yes, we have all of those) and books we can read. Not to mention, I have my writing - when I can focus on it - and Kelly has his computer games.
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The stress and uncertainty are still making my anxiety tricky to keep in check a lot of the time though. But petkid playtime helps with that. After all, it's easy to forget what's going on in the world for a while when I'm playing ball with Lilie, cuddling up with Logan while reading or watching something, listening to Mollie's delighted chitters when she discovers what fresh fruit or vegetable I've left in her bowl for her to enjoy while she watches TV, and trying to keep track of a surprisingly fast Artemis' attempts to explore the world. Only for a while. But every moment of peace is welcome, as I'm sure you can understand and appreciate. Oh, wait, I said we weren't going to talk about my anxiety related issues. Oops!
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In other semi-related news: Lilie could do with a trip to the groomer. I'm worried she's going to get skin issues from lack of a haircut, which can be a problem with Westies. I hope the groomer can be open again before it becomes a problem. We're brushing her regularly at home, of course... We always do with both dogs. We can give her the odd bath ourselves too. But her skin needs to breathe. Not being groomed for too long is bad for any dog, but can especially be a problem for a Westie. It's not like I can do what I did for my own hair - which also needed cutting - and cut it myself. I mean, I would, only Lilie's not too good at staying still for long, so I'm worried she'll move at the wrong time and get hurt, so daren't try. Same applies to Logan, though since he was done a bit more recently than Lilie was, and Cavapoos aren't as prone to skin problems as Westies, I'm not so concerned it will become a problem for him. Not brushing him regularly would, since his fur gets knotty very easily. But he can go a long time before more than scruffyness and the odd knot in his fur is an issue. Kelly says I'm worrying too much. Maybe I am. But at least it gives me something to focus on other than how many people have died in the UK since last month.
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I can think about the stories of wild animals returning to places too. Like the wild goats who went to play in the fountains somewhere in Wales, since less people are out, so they felt they could claim the streets and wander them freely. I loved hearing about that one, and smile whenever I think about those goats. It makes me smile to think about the dolphins returning to the rivers in Italy too. So, if you have more stories like those, please share.
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Also, whether you're in the UK, in America, or elsewhere,
prepare for the ultimate gaslighting, because it's going to come whenever things are back under control enough that they can try and get things back to "normal" again. But don't waste this oppertunity to evaluate things, and decide what kind of future you really want to live in. Don't be taken in; don't let them make you forget.
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Anyway, back to how we've been doing over the past few weeks...
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We're also doing OK for food and things. We're managing to get plenty of food and other supplies (even toilet roll) though not with help from the government- there's no sign of us getting any food parcel or anything, and apparently I don't seem to qualify for a letter of vulnerability, even though I can tick several boxes on the, "You might be vulnerable if..." list, because my carer lives with me - and not from Asda either.
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I gave up on getting Asda slots, because the only thing I was achieving was to lose sleep over it, since I'd stay up until after midnight to try and get a slot - having sorted out the contents of my trolley earlier in the day, so I was ready to check out quickly - only to find I couldn't check out right after midnight because the site or app were, "Experiencing high traffic volumes," and their server couldn't handle us all logging in at once. By the time I got my turn to be able to be back on the site, I'd have to choose alternatives for most of my items, because they were out of stock, and anyway all the slots were gone. If I tried just staying on there, it would freeze up while I was trying to book a slot, so I'd just be back to trying to log on anyhow. My frustration of the situation wasn't helped by the knowledge of all the times people have had their orders cancelled because so much was out of stock it didn't meet the minimum for delivery, or by the fact I couldn't even add to my existing order without losing it, because so little of it ended up being in stock. So, I gave up on Asda, and we had to find another way to get food and supplies.
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The other way involves having our local fruit and veg shop bring us a box of fresh stuff once a week, which I give them an amount to make the box up to, and then let them pick fruit and veg to that amount, as well as getting what we can of my stuff delivered via The Vegan Kind - since a lot of things like the vegan cheeses are tough to find in the local shops at the best of times (part of why I stuck with using the supermarkets for so long) and at least The Vegan Kind let you check out with whatever you want from what's in stock whenever you want, and deliver reasonably quickly - and having Kelly go up the road in as few trips as possible for the rest of the stuff. That and we have hadda few non-contact food deliveries. One from a local Chinese place, which I won't be using again, since the food wasn't properly cooked and was cold, so we actually ended up finishing cooking it ourselves, which defeats the whole purpose of ordering in. The others from Papa John's and Oscars. The latter of which is currently doing deliveries with the help of Uber.
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To be honest, if it wasn't for how Kelly going up the road worries me every time he has to do it, even though we have him go as little as possible, it would be a perfect set-up, since we're getting what we need - even if some of what we want isn't always available, so we sometimes have to make do with getting an alternative item - and supporting local and small businesses at the same time.
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Plus, it meant Kelly witnessed an amusing scene where someone tried returning toilet paper, and was told toilet roll is non-refundable, and it's the customer's own fault if she brought too much, but since it has no use-by date, the customer needn't worry it would go bad before she could use it, because it keeps very well, as long as it's not stored in damp conditions.
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So, how are things going where you are?
A Breath of Snow and Ashes by Diana Gabaldon
