Q. What's the most common wine at Christmas?
A. "Do I have to eat my brussel sprouts?"
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. A Pineapple
Q. How many chimneys does Father Christmas go down?
Q. What's an Ig?
A. An eskimo's home without a loo
Father Christmas went to see a Christmas pantomime. During the interval he got up and went to fetch some refreshments. However, he was then unsure of which row he had been sitting in. He did, however, clearly remember stepping on the foot of a lady on the end of his row.
After a few moments of scanning the crowd he thought he recognised the lady in question. So he went up to her and asked...
Father Christmas: Excuse me, did I step on your toes on my way to get an ice-cream?
Lady: You certainly did!
Father Christmas: Good... That means I'm in the right row!
Q. What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
A. They all can... Houses can't jump!
Q. Where do you find reindeer?
A. It depends on where you leave them
Q. Why does Scrooge like reindeer so much?
A. Because every buck is dear to him
"Dear Father Christmas,
Could you please send me a yellow door for Christmas?
Sincerely, Sherlock Holmes"
Watson: Why do you want a yellow door, Holmes?
Holmes: Lemon-entry my dear Watson!
Q. What do the elves sing to Father Christmas?
A. Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!
Q. An honest politician, Santa Claus and a kind lawyer were walking down the street and saw a £20 note, which one picked it up?
A. Santa Claus... The other two don't exist!
Q. Who's never hungry at Christmas?
A. The turkey... He's always stuffed