Sunday, December 14, 2008

My letter to Santa & his reply (AE&D)

Dear Santa,
I've been a very good girl this year... At least, I've tried my best to be. I've given things I no longer need or want to charity, I've eaten my vegetables (even broccoli) and I've done my best to help keep the housework up to date. But apparently all that isn't good enough! No matter how good I am I still don't seem to be able to be good enough to get a pet lion for Christmas. Is there, perhaps something extra special one must do in order to get such a gift? Perhaps your concerns are that I don't know the requirements for caring for such an animal? If that's the case then I assure you I will put as many hours as necessary in to researching the proper care for a lion in captivity. I already know the basics, and I have no doubt that the rest is available somewhere on the internet... Everything is! So, Santa, I'll ask you again... Can I have a pet lion for Christmas?
Your friend,
Tori

______

Dear Tori,
While I know you have done your best to be good all year, and I appreciate that, I'm afraid your request must be denyed. I'm sure you know how to care for a pet lion, but the last time I tried to bring you one it tried to eat my reindeer, and I'm afraid I can't take the risk of such a thing happening again, since the next time it could be fatal for Dasher. Why, if that reindeer didn't enjoy running so much, and if it weren't for the advantage reindeer have over lions on snow, it would have been fatal the last time. Perhaps you could request a different gift? Preferably one without such sharp teeth and claws?
Sincerely,
Santa

8 comments:

Intense Guy said...

*goes to the mall and sits on Santa's lap and whispers all the details about how to sedate a lion for 4-6 hours using easily obtained dexmedetomidine /ketamine in combination and Santa just carped about having to get in a drug rehab program to get a needle...*

MarmiteToasty said...

I would LOVE a Llama.... a herd of the buggers LOL - I would make llama wool jumpers and give up the childminding LOL....

ps...... I also LOVE brocolli lmfao

x

LadyStyx said...

mmm broccoli and cauliflower with cheese over it...yummy!

*laffz n snortlez @ iggy's comment!!!*

AliceKay said...

LOL

Celticspirit said...

I don't see why Santa can't bring you a lion cub! Surely a little baby thing like that can't do any damage to a big ole reindeer? I'm gonna have to have a talk with Santa. ;)

Punkn said...

LOL Tori. Will a kitty cat do? I'll bet Santa would grant that wish!

Tori_z said...

LOL @ Iggy

Toasty:
You can have my broccoli! *Passes her broccoli to Toasty*

Barb:
Thaniks... And make sure you tell him from me that if I don't get my lion then next year he can forget about having some of my Mam's home-made mince pies. ;)

Punkn:
No, it's gotta be a lion... Only a lion will do!
No kitty cats, or anything like that,
I only want a lion,
That's my favourite kind of cat!

LOL!

Tori_z said...

*Thaniks = Thanks