Monday, May 14, 2007

"Just in case... !"

I was watching the National Geographic channel this morning, which I don't often do, and I feel that it is my duty to warn you that scientists are predicting that in approximately one billion years, we will be forced to live under-ground because the heat of the sun will kill us. I also feel I should warn you, that scientists also predict that in approximately one hundred billion years, the very atoms of the universe we live in will continue to expand - as they have done to create the universe and everything in it - and, the end result will be that after a period of time (they never gave an estimated time period for this part) the universe will become nothing but the cold, empty, blackness that was there before the big bang, or whatever it is that caused the universe to come into being.

I just thought you should know. After all, it's very important that you gather as much information as possible. Why? Well, let me explain...

At some point during your education, you will be told about the fact that Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, and the fact that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. I don't remember how old I was when I was taught this, but that's of no importance. Either way, I was curious as to why it was so important that we knew these facts, so, I asked my Dad, "Why do I need to know about all of this stuff anyway?" To which my Dad replied, "If at some point during your life you were abducted by aliens, and they said, for example, 'tell us who invented the telephone, and we will spare your life,' you could then tell them that it was Alexander Graham Bell, and then they would let you live." This seemed logical to me, and so, I made it a point to gather and remember as much information as possible. After all, the aliens may not be interested in who invented the light bulb or the telephone. They might be more interested in how old the legend of The Loch Ness Monster is, or how whatever planet they are from got the name that we on Earth call it, or how long scientists estimate it will be before the very atoms of the universe expand so much that the fabric of the universe begins to rip apart, and everything in it ceases to exist. Or maybe they'll choose to ask you something entirely different? Who knows?

So, you see, I'm telling you all of this stuff to save your life!