Monday, September 08, 2008

Wild leather (AE&D)

It was a cold, wet Tuesday in mid to late August... I'm afraid my memory fails me as to the exact date. But the events of the day are etched clearly in my mind, where they will probably remain forever more!

I had just finished puting away the shopping - which Kelly had braved the weather outside to fetch - and was half way across the front room. And that's when it happened... I was attacked by two small but vicious creatures.

They came at me at the same time, with their tongues sticking out, their laces snatching at my ankles, and their steel toe caps pressed hard against my bare feet. But I knew what to do. I'd been in this situation before with simular creatures! So I flipped them on to their backs and gently stroked their leather seams while telling them how much I admired their sturdy soles.

The creatures - much to my relief - responded well to my affectionate gestures and submitted. Allowing me to return them to the cupboard they called home.

I have come to the conclusion that the cause of their vicious behaviour was neglect. It appears that shoes - especially those with steel toe caps - become wild and vicious if abandoned for too long. A shoe needs a foot and/or sock to curl itself around, and somewhere - like a cupboard, or a shoe rack - to call home. Otherwise it will become wild (like these two did) and viciously attack the first foot that comes close enough for its laces to grab.

I would like to reasure you at this point that the culprit has been reported to the SPCS (Society for Prevension of Cruilty to Shoes) and was fined the cost of 1 audiobook, and forced to do all the housework - including providing the occupents with tea on demand - for three whole days. And has been warned that further shoe neglection will be punished more severely.

Tori

9 comments:

Intense Guy said...

LMAO... Snorts and chuckles.

:) I think you've been drinking something "funny" in that tea of yours - or possibly you've been breathing way too much fresh air!

AliceKay said...

*whispers to Iggy* I think it's the tea. :P

Tori_z said...

Hmmm... Maybe I should start employing a tea tester?

Punkn said...

LOL
I want some of what Tori is drinking....

Tori_z said...

Punk:
Firstly... Welcome to my blog. :)

Secondly... You really don't want whatever I'm drinking. Trust me! LOL!

ChicagoLady said...

Whatever Iggy had, he's passed it on to Tori. Readers beware!

Tori_z said...

LOL @ Chicago.

LadyStyx said...

*snortlez!*

ok...this is 3 entries total I've read today with no forewarning of possible beverages being spewed onto my monitor!! *shame shames the culprits*

*wipes monitor down*

Are ya sure it's the tea that's been spiked and not an airborne insanity contagion?

Tori_z said...

Styxie:
Oops! I forgot the AE&D warning! *Slaps own hand*

LMAO! I just said something along those lines in the comments section of Nutmeg's post!