Thursday, June 02, 2011

Finding the missing part of me

The first part of this post is meant more for the benifit of newcomers to my blog than anything else, since those who have followed my blog for some time will know this, but I feel I need to say this before I get to the point of my post. So...

It doesn't matter to me if you're Catholic, a Mormon, a member of the Jedi Church, or if you're Jewish, or if you're a member of any other religeon. The point is that it's your chosen path, and - for whatever reason - you feel it's the right one for you. I chose my path many years ago and I feel I made the right choice. The point I'm trying to get at here is that I respect other people's decisions about their paths and/or beliefs (or however else you want to put it), and all I ask in return is that they respect mine.

Anyway, to get to the point of this post...

I am a Pagan (also not news to people who have been with me for a while, or have read my profile). No, this post isn't to tell you that - unless you didn't know, in which case, I guess it is - it's to tell you... Well, to tell you about events that started a few years ago, but I didn't realise until recently. Well, officially it's to do with the recent realization, but... Let me explain, before I completely confuse you:

I chose my path when I was young, and I stuck to it rigidly. I had an altar, several Pagan/Wiccan books, and... Well, let's just say there was no mistaking my religeon if you visited me. But then I lost my sight, and I couldn't read my books. Everything - with the exception of the pentagram I wore around my neck - was given to others, because I fell in to a deep, dark pit of despair. How could I use it now, when I had no sight to do it with?

I stayed in that pit of despair until recently. Wanting desperately to find the thing I knew was missing, but unsure of what it was or where to find it. Then I found some free pdfs of some Pagan/Wiccan books and some accessable Pagan/Wiccan books for individuals with print disabilities (I love the wording on that). And... Well, I don't know. I just felt a sense of relief that I could access the books again. It was like a weight had been lifted from me; like something I'd been missing had been returned. And I felt happy. Happier than I have since before my eyesight started to really go.

Realizing just how much I had been missing having access to my books has made me sit up and take notice of the fact I'd let things slide so much over the past few years. I've acknowledged certain aspects (such as the various Pagan holidays), but I haven't been embracing my path as I did before. I've done next to nothing to celebrate each of the holidays, and any rituals in between have - with the exception of the odd meditation session, and a few healing or "sending positive thoughts your way" type sessions - been non-existent. And, so, I have made an important decision... It's time for that to change!

I'm working on getting hold of the required items once more (starting with copies of the books which are accessable to me) and have made a concious decision to make my spiritual path as important in my life as it was before (if not more so).

I intend to include more rituals in my day to day life, and will therefore be quite likely to mention Pagan/Wiccan topics more often. In fact, I found a blog containing Pagan Blog Prompts, where prompts are provided every week to encourage posting on the topic of Paganism on blogs, and I will probably participate in some of them from time to time. I don't know how often, but I definately intend to do it sometimes. I also intend celebrating the holidays in a proper Pagan/Wiccan manner. But more on that another day.

I still haven't gotten to the point though, so - since I need to so I can go and walk Kero - I will get to the point. The point is that I wanted this post to serve as a message to all of you, and that message is as follows:

Whatever your chosen ppath in life may be, stay true to it, and be yourself. Denying yourself who you truely are only leads to misery, so be yourself; just remember to also allow others to be themselves! For being yourself is the key to having true happiness in your life.

7 comments:

Intense Guy said...

Hmm.. I could "reach an understanding" with a member of the Jedi Church. Its a shame they picked a trivializing name -

"Print disabilities"? That's "clever". :)

I'm happy you are happy again - its been a long haul for you and your accepting what has happened... I know (actually, I don't, but I imagine it) was hard and took some internal adjusting.

I hope the spiritual lives within you brightly once more.

Karen said...

This is a simple comment:

Thankyou sweetheart xxx

Rita said...

Staying close to your own spiritual path is always good for us. I am glad you are feeling more connected. I have been doing more connecting on mine this year, too. :):) Hope you and Kero had a fine walk.

ChicagoLady said...

I'm glad you've found a way to become more active with your spirituality. I've always believed that we should be tolerant of others and their differences. Otherwise, how will we learn about them and from them? Just because you're different doesn't mean you're wrong.

Toriz said...

Iggy:
Yeah, they could have picked a better name. Still, whatever works for them, right? :)

Thanks! And thanks for being right there beside me every step of the way! :)

*Hugs*

Mam:
You're welcome! :) xx

Rita:
Glad to hear it... Hope you're feeling better for it! :)

I'm assuming that's what the soul comfort stories you posted at the end of last year were all about? The start of your quest to reconnect?

Chicago:
Absolutely! Couldn't have put it better myself! :)

AliceKay said...

I couldn't have put it any better than my friends before me have already done. *hugs*

Toriz said...

Thanks AK! :) *Hugs*